THE PUBLIC GRIEVES PALMER
+ BY ALEXA WEBB ++ April 4th, 2009

The latest news about the certain death of Amanda Palmer has produced a flurry of response from the public. Letters have flooded in, addressed to the family of Palmer or to the world at large, mourning this great lost light. We have reproduced several here, to honor a woman so dear to so many.

To the Family:

We are deeply sorry to hear about Amanda. We didn't know her personally, but we've known her emotionally for the past couple of years. She was beautiful—both romantically impulsive and impulsively romantic. It is regrettable that we are sitting here composing this letter (the recent public interest in her assassination has surely prohibited you from having a moment to grieve in peace). Her life was a mystery--how fitting, that her death would be, too. Please know that Amanda has etched herself into our hearts...and as our hearts go out to you, a part of Amanda is returning to you, as well.   

With great sympathy,

Two Unknown Friends

*    *    *

Oh, my dears...

There aren't words to convey the sadness I feel for you, and myself, and Amanda. So shocking that it ended this way...but then again, a wizened old Amanda passing peacefully in her sleep three score and ten down the road might've been the greater shock...

Her life was her art; her life WAS Art, with a capital "A", worn proudly on her sleeve (or bodice, depending). I've never met anyone quite like her - so insatiably creative - and doubt I ever will again.

We are all diminished by her absence, and better for having her in our lives. We'll mourn her now...and celebrate her always.

Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers at this trying time.

Mark Matteson

*    *    *

I wish I knew how to prepare a casserole - I swear I would bring it right over.  I know a casserole doesn't replace Amanda but the thought of one might.  Think of one; I prepared that thought.

I am sure your eyes are bloodshot.  When you look in the mirror you probably can't remember if your face looks that way from crying, drinking, or maybe it's always looked that way.  Poor Amanda, she would have given the world to see us like this.

Sometime next week I plan to drive out to the spot we met.  I haven't been able to face the sunlight since it happened.  Next week feels right.  I'll climb up that old slide and go down belly first.  Amanda won't be there to laugh at me.  The children might throw pebbles and I'll be too much of a sissy to fight back.  Still, I think I'll have a fighting chance to win a piece of her back.

I plan to stop by afterward.  Leave the door unlocked; you know how she used to hate the knocking.

Much love,
Michael Needham

*    *    *

Amanda will make a good zombie.

I will miss her in death, because she ate all my animal crackers and promised to buy me more.

Now I have tea, but no animals crackers.

Whenever I open my cupboard I will curse her twice.

I also suspect she was stealing my silverware.

Dearest Palmer Kin, you have my blessings...and my silverware some place.

Almost yours,

Tommie Vomit.

*    *    *

If you have tips or evidence regarding the Amanda Palmer case, please email them to: aptips@alexawebbreport.com

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